A Close Encounter With Life

She was shivering slightly as I held her hands. Two intense eyes stared at me expressing a mixture of surprise, shock and disbelief. I do not know how long it has been since someone shook hands with her, or held her close. It was a bright Friday morning and she had come to our office to collect the books, toys, schoolbags, water bottles and geometry boxes we had bought for kids staying in a shelter for those who have the weakest immune systems. There is a virus in their blood stream that keeps damaging their immune system.

Her voice was steady and calm as she spoke. “I lost my husband a few years ago. I have two little boys for whom I live. But I do not know if I will be alive to see them grow, for I am entering the 17^th year of my life with AIDS. I was never bold. The diagnosis is what made me so bold.”  Despite her failing health, she is working hard and doing all that she can to send those kids who number over a 100 to school and find enough money to cater to their daily and medical needs.  

The tinted glasses I was wearing hid my wet eyes. Standing before me was life, in the form of a mother, a woman who was fighting her way through the real tests of life, a real life heroine. I thanked her for being there and speaking to me, wished her the best under the sun and went back silently praying for her. But her voice would just not leave my ears.

“This is my life”, she said. This is every body’s life. Life never promises you anything. It surprises you with gifts and shocks you with unexpected tests and lessons.  

Find love, spread love, laugh to your heart’s content, cry your heart out when you feel really sad, be yourself, express yourself, and do not be afraid, fly high.

Love,
Athma Rama...Rejoicing within :)

A page from her diary!!!

He told me,"Wait for what life has to offer you and not for what you expect!!!"

When the worst pain hits, I am left totally helpless, screaming inside and aloud when possible, for help. I would find some corner to curl up.  I do not know if my calls have ever been answered to, but I live through it. When at home, I find myself curling on the ground at a spot where he had stood, with me in his arms. 

I nodded. “Let life unravel itself before me.” But will I have the strength to wait for so long, I wonder. Nature is quite slow. And I do not know for how long I would be able to hold on. At times, a few minutes or seconds is all that I get to bring back the fake smile and the cheerful mask. But so far, I have handled it pretty smartly. They say, practice makes man perfect, and that time heals every wound. But this is one particular thing that you can never be perfect in. The more you practice, the weaker you become. And to me it seems like…”Even time will not be able to heal this.”