Amor mío

Is darkness the absence of light? But darkness has a colour of its own.
Is silence the absence of sound? But silence has a voice of its own.

It is there, yet it is not there.

Am trying to see through it all.
Am searching for my love,
In this candle light...

Athmarama,
Rejoicing within...

What would people say!!!

There was a spread of grey and blue. Sky looked beautiful than ever. As she lifted her eyelids, the tiny feather saw the brilliant patterns painted by the clouds. Awestruck, the little feather rose to her feet and waited for the wind. A promising gust of wind, hugged her close and lifted her up. She swayed to the rhythm of the wind and danced her way up. With closed eyes and spread out arms, she flew like an angel. The wind made her swing and sway. He made her spin and spring. Enjoying the dance, immersed in it, heart and soul, the feather rose. Higher and higher…

She flew past her inhibitions and fears. Leaving behind all the chains and fetters which grounded her. She felt free and fearless. Just as she thought she had brought the walls down, a chill ran down her spine. What did she see? What did she hear? What was it that she felt? Was the wind giving up on her? Why was she going down?

With tearful eyes she asked the wind, “Why are you doing this to me?”. The wind would not answer. She tugged at the wind in despair and asked, “Why are you giving up on me?”. The wind would not reply. The feather knew she would hit the ground soon. Desperately she tried to hold up and struggled to stay in flight. But she knew she was fighting a losing battle. As she felt the wind’s grip around her loosening, as she felt a deep dark silence and distance building between the wind and her, just as she was about to think the wind betrayed her, she heard them say “What would people say!!!”.

In pain and shock, the feather watched the wind go back. He lifted the chains which had held him down, and locked himself up. He looked up at the feather and said. “Go away and find another wind.”

With a broken heart, and a torn down soul, she stood there. Not knowing where to go. Not wanting to let go. The grey sky gave off a thunder. The lightning bolt fell on the feather. Burning her down to ash and dust. The wind had his eyes tightly shut. But through the corner of his eyes, he tried to see…just in time…as another gust of wind, took the ashes away.

Love,
Athmarama...Rejoicing within...

Life Is Perfect :)

It’s a perfect life. Experiencing its wonders… Unending flavours… The expressions of life makes it meaningful. The flavours add to the taste. The memories that get cached keep reminding us who we used to be. If you like that person, you know where to go. If you do not like that person, well, then probably you know where not to go
:).

Life is not about existence. It is not about staying alive. Devouring a whole plate of meal and declaring “I have done it!!” might earn you some claps, a few greetings and a lot of envious stares. But try to remember what was there in that plate you just emptied. Does the taste linger? Do you think you want more?

What about having the same meal again and again? A monotonous life…Playing safe…

Everything comes into life unexpectedly, as shocks and surprises. One day you find love, the next day you lose it. Slowly imbibe the feeling of being in love. Slowly accept the truth that it will not stay. It is ok to feel heart broken. Too much pepper can burn your tongue. But that should not stop you from eating again. A heart ache should not stop you from living your life. Find new horizons. Remember, where the mighty ocean ends, begins the unending sky.

Be it sorrow or happiness, it will not stay forever. With passing moments, the intensity will gradually reduce. The colours will fade of. Do not get drowned in it. Wait for the tide to lower. Try to emerge from it unharmed. It is ok to have a few bruises. They will heal. But stay alive. Remember you have a long way to go. Lot more flavors to be tasted.

The perfection of life is hidden in its imperfections. You don’t need to fight your way through life. Just understand it and move ahead. Whatever be it that you face, turmoil or the deepest sorrow, remember that it is just an added flavour. As you, with all your heart accept it, you will hear a soft whisper “Life is perfect”.

Love,

Athma Rama…Rejoicing within :)

Mirror Sees It All, And Even More...

I was on my knees clicking some macro shots of a cobweb, when I noticed a freshly  shed snake skin lying nearby. The snake must have been some where around, watching me...Probably whispering to me...

Shedding the skin I held so close,

Like memories that fade and fall apart.

The way side stream becomes a mirror,

As it reflects my image, so vivid and clear.

The mirror sees it all, they say,

But I realized,

The mirror sees it all and even more.

Oh! so surprised I was to find,

The stream could reflect my heart and soul.

I could see the shimmer of hope and faith,

The trust that it was perfectly made.

The new skin made me gleam and glow.

As I watched the image in perfect awe,

I could hear the stream whispering low;

"As life pens down a new poetry,

Let your heart paint the flow."

Love,
Athma Rama...Rejoicing within :)

Thaikkudam Night @ Technopark

Dead line and the angry looking bug did not matter anymore. With the last line of code committed, I bid a quick good bye to my team mates and rushed outside.

One of the best performing bands of the country….They were already on stage setting up instruments when I arrived at the amphitheatre. As I watched them test this mic and that speaker, little did I know that I was just a few minutes away from an enchanting night which I would cherish in the archives of my memory forever…

It began with a bang. The Thaikkudam bridge, was there on stage. What a sight!!! We held our breath and melted into the ambience as they presented an instrumental feast. The music definitely touched our heart and more so, when Siddharth came up with a beautiful melody. How I wished, the moment would stay forever…

Thus, it kept on flowing. As “Chekele” rose the whole show to another level, the Ilayaraja hit just stole our heart and soul…But it was Peethambaran Sir, who did the real magic. The whole amphitheatre roared to life and swayed to the rhythm of "Appozhe paranjille". “Beat It” flowed in, just in time, to prepare us for the unexpected. Vian, who was wild on the guitar asked us, weather we would stay or leave, if it rained. “Definitely stay” came the reply in unison, from the thousands who had gathered. The audience cheered for “Fish rock”, the bands famous originals. With the wonderful night sky witnessing it all, and even as the beautiful crescent smiled down at us, we began to see little droplets of water shining like diamonds as the flood lights fell on their way. The sight was overwhelming. We stood awe struck. Then it happened…Unstoppable rain…

The breeze was strong and it made the rain slant. As the instruments where being sheltered safely, we forgot all about umbrellas and jackets and rain coats. Each and every drop that fell on us filled us with life. It was chilling out there. But nothing would stop us from enjoying the spell. It seemed like it would rain for eternity. Though the show had to be inevitably stopped, it felt magically complete… And there, standing among thousands of people, I could not help but wonder “Is this how God creates his master pieces?”

Love,

Athma Rama…Rejoicing within :)

A Close Encounter With Life

She was shivering slightly as I held her hands. Two intense eyes stared at me expressing a mixture of surprise, shock and disbelief. I do not know how long it has been since someone shook hands with her, or held her close. It was a bright Friday morning and she had come to our office to collect the books, toys, schoolbags, water bottles and geometry boxes we had bought for kids staying in a shelter for those who have the weakest immune systems. There is a virus in their blood stream that keeps damaging their immune system.

Her voice was steady and calm as she spoke. “I lost my husband a few years ago. I have two little boys for whom I live. But I do not know if I will be alive to see them grow, for I am entering the 17^th year of my life with AIDS. I was never bold. The diagnosis is what made me so bold.”  Despite her failing health, she is working hard and doing all that she can to send those kids who number over a 100 to school and find enough money to cater to their daily and medical needs.  

The tinted glasses I was wearing hid my wet eyes. Standing before me was life, in the form of a mother, a woman who was fighting her way through the real tests of life, a real life heroine. I thanked her for being there and speaking to me, wished her the best under the sun and went back silently praying for her. But her voice would just not leave my ears.

“This is my life”, she said. This is every body’s life. Life never promises you anything. It surprises you with gifts and shocks you with unexpected tests and lessons.  

Find love, spread love, laugh to your heart’s content, cry your heart out when you feel really sad, be yourself, express yourself, and do not be afraid, fly high.

Love,
Athma Rama...Rejoicing within :)

A page from her diary!!!

He told me,"Wait for what life has to offer you and not for what you expect!!!"

When the worst pain hits, I am left totally helpless, screaming inside and aloud when possible, for help. I would find some corner to curl up.  I do not know if my calls have ever been answered to, but I live through it. When at home, I find myself curling on the ground at a spot where he had stood, with me in his arms. 

I nodded. “Let life unravel itself before me.” But will I have the strength to wait for so long, I wonder. Nature is quite slow. And I do not know for how long I would be able to hold on. At times, a few minutes or seconds is all that I get to bring back the fake smile and the cheerful mask. But so far, I have handled it pretty smartly. They say, practice makes man perfect, and that time heals every wound. But this is one particular thing that you can never be perfect in. The more you practice, the weaker you become. And to me it seems like…”Even time will not be able to heal this.”